Notes

Day 1 - it finally happened
It was true! The MindKill, the Threat ... It was all true! But I barely started my Receiver training .. I'm not prepared yet. I can no longer train with my fellow Receivers in the compound. Now What?

I guess I need to figure this stuff out somehow, but for that I need to stay alive.

This is it, the big moment. This is why I joined the Receivers.

-

Day 17 (I think) - Ranks
Every time I rank up, I see the world clearer, just like the Receiver teachings say, but every time I "die" it all fades away again. Just flashes of insight remain. This is why I keep this dairy, to at least have a record of some of the practical things that I can still remember. Every time I die. What a strange thought.

I tried to retain the true insight, but it's almost impossible.

-

The Endless
It's been a weird day. I tried to spend it by finding the boundaries of this world, but the only way I could do so was to travel in one direction as far as I could. So, I went "North" (as if that means anything anymore).

It was dangerous, but I have gotten used to running past turrets and away from drones. Interestingly, after a few hours of travelling things started to look pretty familiar to me. Is the world looping? Am I stuck in a mobius strip?

-

Day ??? - Time is messed up
So, there's something weird happening to time. Ever since I woke up, after the MindKill, I have felt increasingly disengaged from any notion of time space. I don't know how long I've been here, or how long I've been fighting.

-

Threat Attack
Great, some tapes seem to be trapped. I picked one up and almost blew my own head off -- I had this irresistible urge to put my gun in my mouth and pull the trigger. I'm so glad it wasn't loaded. Just when I thought I had a grip on this place the Threat throws me another curve ball. But there's nothing for it. I HAVE TO FIND TAPES.

I have to keep training my mind to resist, to reinterpret the world, to focus on my MindTech.

I can do this.

-

Stalker
Stalker - A New Threat Attack

What did I just fight? I thought the mind control tapes were bad, but this is worse. It must be a new thing.

Those spikes ... the way it seemed to always follow me? These things aren’t based on any real-tech that I know of, and that makes it worse.

Is the Threat now able to dig into unconscious fears? Into our nightmares? And manifest from that?

I hope not, but then again, hope is a dangerous thing.

-

Interference
The Threat is certain to interfere with our spooky chain -- it's likely that most of our transmissions will be incomplete and off-target. To make sure that we get enough through, we must send at least ten times what the survivors will need, and must focus all of our training time on this Mindtech. Unfortunately, this means we cannot survive the Mindkill ourselves. Remember what we are fighting for. Even though we will lose our bodies in Reality B, we will continue to exist in the radiant light of Reality A.

-

Semper Fidelis
If this disk is not blank, it means that you have survived the Mindkill. If you have no memory of what happened, do not be alarmed. We expected this and prepared for this eventuality. We did our best to send you sufficient supplies and guidance, but the rest is up to you alone. Your path is a difficult one, full of hardship and setbacks.

Even though you have forgotten, you have sent years training the Receiver virtues of perseverance, discipline, and courage, and we know you have what it takes. Remember that we are still watching you from Reality A, and we will never give up on you.

-

Out of Time
All signs indicate that the MindKill is imminent. The Threat has abandoned subtlety in its infiltration of the media, of our society, of our bodies. There is no longer any doubt.

THIS IS THE TIME WE HAVE PREPARED FOR.

Receivers who have volunteered for cache duty, now is the time to focus on your Mindtech to ensure that your guidance and supplies reach those who survive. If you receive this message after the Mindkill, please accept our aid, and ensure that our sacrifice was not in vain.

-

Boogerman
I finally fell asleep. For days I was too scared to even try: What if the drones find me? What if a turret materializes in the room with me? So, I slept under a bed in the apartments, like a child hiding from the Boogeyman. Or the "Boogerman", as my little girl used to call him. Audrey had a whole raft of funny words like that, but she was always completely serious about them.

"Daddy? Is the boogerman green?"

God, I miss her.

Luis

-

I am alone
So, this is the world now, all weird connections, broke skies, and messed up sounds. Oh, and it's full of things that want kill me and all the other Receivers.

Things is; I haven't seen any other Receivers ... I always thought during training that we would fight thing together. "Like a family" they said. But they're all gone. Just like my little girl.

I don't know if I can do this thing alone.

-

I am not alone
I was wrong; I'm not alone. Well, I am, kind of, but finding things that have clearly been left behind by other Receivers. Notes ... messages ... So, there must be others. But where the heck are they?

I have to find them.

-

The apartment
I just saw the strangest thing ... The apartment where I stayed last night, I know it! I've been there before. It belongs to that girl below me whose music was always too loud. I recognize it because of all the times I came down to complain about the noise.

But that means if her apartment is here, maybe mine is as well. And if I can find my old apartment then I can play the messages on my old answering machine, and hear the voice of my little girl again ...

If there's anything that would keep me going that would be it.

-

Chasing a ghost
I know she's gone. The Mindkill took them all, including my lovely daughter. But I'm starting to believe that in a strange way she IS here. I can tell that is world, this post-Mindkill limbo, is made up or stuff that I can remember, or at least big parts of it are. Like an afterimage, projected by my mind not the world.

But nothing has left a stronger afterimage on my heat than my lovely Audrey. Something, some projection, some indication that she was part of my life must be around somewhere.

I'm going to find it. I need something to live for.

-

Seeing
If the Threat can manifest things in this reality t hurt us, and the Benefactor can manifest things in this reality to help us, then it must be possible for Receivers to repair the world once they learn to do the same. We just need to learn to see the world as it is.

I have to believe this.

-

Different the same
Every time I wake up, things are different. Yet everything is always the same ... I tried staying awake as long as possible to see if anything changes. It doesn't.

It has something to do with sleeping, as if this world is only free to change things when I'm dreaming. What does that tell me?

It's like that Tom Waits song "You're innocent when you dream". Vulnerable too. There are always new threats when I wake up, but also new tapes, new messages, and sometimes, new hope.

I will find her one day.

-

Crumbs
I'm memorizing these dairy entries and leaving them for other Receivers to find. I know this can work; I have found enough messages from the others to know we can communicate through this membrane that is keeping us apart.

They are just crumbs, I know, but if you find enough crumbs you might find the cake. I will try and collect all the Receivers notes I can find.

-

A cure for want
I just realized something important. The Threat de-manifested most of our world through the Mindkill. But if we are learning to control this power that the Threat has, then we can de-manifest things ourselves! Like hunger, thirst, the need to sleep ...

Our teachings were correct. I have to practice; I have to listen to the tapes. I have to become more than I am now.

-

I made an apple
I willed an apple. I pictured it, I defined it in my mind, and I thought of the last time I ate an apple. It was with Audrey. She ate a pear, telling me that "Pears beat Apples."

Today I woke up, entered one of the apartments, and found that apple. I ate and I cried. If I can make an apple, then maybe one day I can make this world again.

-

A thousand angels
I did it. I found her voice message. I had almost given up on finding my apartment, on finding her voice on the answering machine, but my receiver training pulled me through in the end.

It was only yesterday (if that term means anything anymore) that I was ready to end it. The timeless aspect of this world was wearing me down. Even a mountain will erode over time, so the idea that time doesn't progress here, got through my defenses. I just couldn't live with the idea that I could be trapped here forever. The Threat can be devious like that.

But this is why Receivers train themselves. My Mindtech worked. I specifically trained myself to recognize the signs, and it stopped me from committing that final destructive act. When the voice of the Threat started getting too strong, I threw all of my ammo off the building. I can always get more,

And then, the next day, I found my old apartment. It was exactly like I remembered it, but that is the point, isn't it? Everything here is a reflection of our mind, a projection of our thoughts. So, I knew Audrey's voice would be on the answering machine, sounding sweeter than a thousand singing angels. I now realize that is because I willed it to be.

I am slowly Awakening.

-

Mission Statement
Come on Charlene, you can figure this out! Seen every post-apocalyptic movie, read every possible disaster novel, years of Receivers training ... YOU CAN DO THIS!

I'll be like Charlton Heston in SOYLENT GREEN, and solve this puzzle. Well, with a better ending, I hope.

-

Charlene's Shopping List
Basic stuff to do to survive:

1: Find Shelter - DONE (seems easy)

2: Find Water - DONE (the taps still work, wtf?)

3: Find Food - DONE (yep, fridges are full, EVERY DAY??)

4: Survive the Dreaming. - STILL HERE AREN'T I? (Drones and turrets are stupid, just gotta be patient and aim)

So, what's next? Gotta learn more about the Threat, I guess. Work out how to beat this thing. Expecting no "Hand of God" to save me, like in THE STAND ... Remember that? You don't see that every day!

-

Hacker life for3ver
Been finding these weird encrypted messages, maybe they're clues from the same peeps who send us bullets and guns? HACK THE PLANET BABY! Hahahah.

Seriously, what is up with this stuff:

+++++++++++++++++++

Vlqsb olv Idgtgw. Bcip sui nmmn. Xywb eti LZGVAYITW. Gjyi dljg ma v pzw. Bswv middq lw psb tslj hrgqg. Ri xji miidq.

+++++++++++++++++++

Decrypted:

Shoot the tapes. They are lies. They are DECEIVERS. Your life is a lie. Your enemy is not your enemy. We are the enemy.

-

Charlene's Brain Meld
OK, it's not just word or letter substitution. Don't need a Vulcan mind to figure that one out. It's clearly some kind of rotating code, so there's a system underneath. Not sure that's solvable on my own.

Need some help. Maybe I do need Vulcan intellect, somebody to mind-meld with, eh?

-

Traitor
Just realized something. Got me worried ... Why are there encoded messages? What does it matter right? We fight the Dreaming, oppose the Threat, go up Receiver ranks by finding tapes ... what's left to hide?

Only one reason: There are traitors ... Like that asshole guy in THE MATRIX who sells out the heroes, right?

So, I guess this is my purpose now: Find the traitor.

-

Attacked
Must be onto something with this decryption thins, because the Threat is clearly escalating its attacks. Spotted some new behaviors: Drone patrolling, Turrets using armor ... but I've learned stuff to. There's a song that plays in my head, like an earworm. It gets clearer and clearer the closer i get to a tape!

Can't explain it, but there it is.

Or maybe I'm losing it, like that guy in the QUIET EARTH ...

-

Stupid Drunk
Last night I found a safe spot and did something stupid. I don't really need found or drink, not like I used to, but wondered if I could still get drunk, so I went to find a liquor cabinet in the apartments ... NICE MOVE CHARLENE!

Short story made shooter: Seems I still can! Drunker than a skunk! I got all emotional too, ended up writing notes like "DON'T TRUST OTHER RECEIVERS!" and "IT'S ALL LIES", and when I woke up, they were gone. Hope I haven't sent them to the others side by accident...

Hope nobody finds em.

-

Getting Close
Got a hunch about solving those coded messages. I figured; who's always helping us? Who's sending us these stupid balloons, leaving us guns, flashlights, magazines? Well, for a while now, what I've suspected is that it's not human. It's like the Threat, only good. And if it can send us all these helpful things, then it can send me the solution the decoded all these messages. Right?

And sure enough, I think I'm seeing patterns, word, things repeated out there in the world. If I can tune in on it, maybe it'll become clearer. Like that song that plays in my head a tape is near ...

T2: "There's no fate but what we make ourselves."

-

This is not good
I figured it out. It's not a Caesar shift cipher, it's a Vigenère cipher with a code word. I'm too scared to share the code word here, but it's out there. You'll have to find it yourself, like I did. Once you do ... NO MORE SECRETS.

I'll keep writing messages, but use the same cipher and code word, some as used on the encoded messages I already found.

-

Wvmbjv
Vmv fixo, kzlw qrm'n kffqe uxqik: Kzh Xjvmvx ysv gqvzptkwg xji Zzgvayitw. Bciiw dvg xzvmkguw qyb olvjh, gqptvffjdxkro rmkz wlg Xpmirl, sjekrao yj. Aw'w tscbl rfg enp, jpx Z cqsy sn vx cwdwv svz fp fdqp: "LMIVP"

Zh'w vvgdrx lr xtmx tsl ms fa wxmirvlri pqzw rtryv xpz Vvuhmxizm. Mk'k myux isskzhv yeg asi lki Vlzzek lr ageszr lk.

Decrypted:

TRAITOR

Sit back, this one’s gonna sting: The Threat has corrupted the Receivers. There are traitors out there, collaborating with the Threat, fighting against us. It’s rough and all, but I know of at least one by name:

“HENRY”

He’s trying to trip you up by spreading lies about the Receivers. It’s just another way for the Threat to weaken us.

-

Wvcrahmkllri Lwki
Lx'u rwo ecd eef rmrw. Pwv, ag fimicq vytzqqi zf wlkw xgetw, drf xpz Xyjhev yazh "Kzh Htiihmey" ws ryb amcd lx ymbc rrkwc uyzkvzkhw, dyb olvjh mu evjxwu jcgbdse xuso vmvpzlb E, vvgdrx lr lgpx pw. Kzhc cvm OLV THRGJIXXFJV, eph bcip sui vlm nsljfi qj bci kssui, xpz eder, xji oprj, sgh cpaj xrjjivil hijkdkgw bj lvds yu fmxsdw dacvm jj flkit hiikvjv.

Decrypted:

TRANSMITTING HOPE

It’s not all bad news. Yes, we barely survive in this place, and the Threat used “The Dreaming” to put fill it with nasty surprises, but there is another faction from reality A, trying to help us. They are THE BENEFACTORS, and they are the source of the tapes, the ammo, the guns, and also targeted messages to help us become aware of other dangers.

-

Wvwi uzeeaqk qj bci ngupf
Ec pse tsl sovgelt oegz edsco vvsomvc l vru T, umilb? Vru thmpk ojsu dlxvpm Mitwlzgva ri nsqx vs xmskwfx qyznicnhw kr kr Zzecawc D. Fco M'd kwetxqik kg vyutmxx jgpivlqik. Z lkmpo bciiw lw CRWOLVJ oeaiz os gwhp dekf lvjh, eph qo'w rdo edsco xyav gteht pzees yszgh nw dvg mv iisn. Lkmpo MOIIFDP UYVNLZFH SH XPZ WGGWPGWA HMEV. Peafm olzk spcgm dwe'l myux i wekloi ivwpru, aw lcw i kyihrwg ... Apvx zk UICPQOC T?

Decrypted:

TRUE MEANING OF THE WORLD

By now you already know about reality A and B, right? And being good little Receivers, we want to protect ourselves in Reality B. But I’m starting to suspect something. I think there is ANOTHER layer to peel back here, and it’s all about this crazy limbo world we are in now. Think ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND Maybe this place isn’t just A battle ground, it has A purpose…

What is REALITY C?

-

It bothers me
Something doesn't add up. All those years f training, all the tapes we listened to, all the times we talked about what would happen after the Mindkill ... and now that it's here it feels ... off. Something doesn't seem quite right. I can't put my finger on it.

Maybe I'm going crazy. I mean, everybody I have ever known and lived is just ... gone, but I'm not feeling it the way I should be feeling it. I just feel empty, numb.

What's happening to me?

Henry

-

Better Off?
Some days I'm grateful to be alive. Other days I wonder who's better off: the disappeared, or me? There's a question that keeps coming back into my mind, over and over: "Are they truly dead? Or is it me who died?"

I know, it's stupid. We trained for this. The Threat is trying to get to me.

Henry

-

Dreaming
I had a dream last night. It was both disturbing and wonderful. in the dream I could see people, human beings, in a state of bliss and peace. There were millions and millions of them. Together they were dreaming a world. I can't put it any better than that. They were dreaming a paradise, aided by a Power, stronger and more awesome than anything I could ever imagine.

But then I entered their dream, together with an army of other Receivers, and we started shooting and we destroyed it all. I don't understand why, or what it all means.

I think they were dreaming heaven. And we destroyed it.

Henry

-

Secrets
I found a note today, and unlike the others notes from fellow Receivers, this one talks about encrypted messages. This has upset me. A lot. Why are Receivers keeping secrets from each other? What is it, that some of us aren't allowed to know? This has never come up in training

Why would we need to write coded messages, unless something we are doing is dishonest, or wrong?

Are Receivers Deceivers?

Henry

-

The last bullet
Something happened today that won't leave me. I can't stop thinking about it; I was doing my Receiver work, finding tapes, taking down enemies, surviving, like I do every day, but I must have lost concentration, because I walked around the corner in a hospital module and I heard a turret activate behind me. I turned around, raised my gun to shoot it, and my gun jammed! I knew that was it: I was going to die. This hellish world, this place of lies, had become so normal to me that I had grown too bored to stay vigilant.

But the turret didn't shoot. I heard its ammo belt spinning, but it was empty. I walked up to it, disabled it with a hack, and then spotted a Receiver message lying next to it.

All it said was this:

"DON'T TRUST OTHER RECEIVERS!"

I was meant to find it. If the Threat is trying to kill me, then why am I still alive?

Henry

-

There is no death
I died. I remembered dying, the bullets ripping me apart ... And then I woke up and the world had reset somehow, and I was still in it. Everything was the same, but also slightly different. I guess we can’t die, but the Threat can still try to stop us from getting tapes, from growing into a more powerful kind of Receiver.

But, just before I "died", I saw something. It's hard to describe but it was like I could push through to another world. Just like the one I dreamed, where all the people take in the Mindkill end up. What is that place?

How do I get there?

Henry

-

The Big Lie - 1
I've come to believe something. I believe that the Receiver group is based on a lie. It's a lie so big that I can't live with it, yet I can't let it stand unchallenged. There are many parts of this, and i will dedicated myself to letting the others know.

This is the truth:

The Threat is NOT the enemy. Or rather, the Threat has already succeeded in indoctrinating US; the Receivers. When we are attacking the Threat, we are instead attacking a force for good. If we manage to destroy the world of the Threat; "Reality A", then we destroy Paradise.

-

The Big Lie - 2
This is the truth:

The Mindkill is no such things. It is the great Ascension. All of our friends yet live and dream in Reality A. The so-called "Threat" is their one protector. If Receivers succeed, paradise will fall. It is US, Receivers, who are the Threat.

-

The Big Lie - 3
This is the truth:

Our Mindtech, our ability to free our mind, to defend ourselves against malicious outside influences, protecting us from manipulative and abusive systems of thought, is in fact a device to chain us.

It has left us wide open and vulnerable to the true Threat; that which has convinced us that the Mindkill was a hostile act, rather than the event of sublime ascension.

-

Yoga in the park
Somehow, I thought I was out of the warrior business. I showed up for "free yoga in the park" to try something new, I sure as hell looked out of place with my tattoos and buzzcut, but there was something below the surface I knew I had in common with these people.

I had seen them in the park a few times on my morning jog. The way they moved, the look in their eyes -- like people in a combat zone.

-

Yoga in the park 2
They didn't push anyone to join. I could tell they were extremely cautious. We would just show up, do the guided exercises for an hour. There wasn't anything out of the ordinary for what it was -- "hold this pose", "concentrate here", "breath", and always "listen", "listen", "listen" -- I did this for months. I was curious, but also patient.

Later, I learned that this process was called "getting to baseline".

-

Downward Dog
After a while, I started to notice a strange pattern. Sometimes near the end of the class, I would see a person or two look up, as if they heard a noise. It seemed kind of weird, but my hearing isn't that great anymore after so much time around gundifre and explosions.

I had also started grabbing some coffee after class with another member, Amy. We were just friends hanging out, but things seemed to going well.

One day doing Downward Dog, I notice her do *the thing* like she heard a sound. At coffee afterward I asked her about it and she clammed up right away. I pressed her a little bit, and she blurted out " you have to stop watching TV". After that, there was always some reason she was a bit too busy to go for coffee.

-

The Tone
5 months after I started, I finally heard The Tone. I was holding a Plank, looking straight down at the grass, sweat dripping from my nose, when I heard it. It sounded so weird I looked up, and there was Amy, looking right at me from the other side of the circle, smiling.

One of the instructors, Lawrence, came up after class. He told me that he thought I would benefit from practicing at home, and he gave me a cassette tape. I had no idea what I was getting into, but I also knew that this is exactly what I had been waiting for.

-

A deeper Level
The first tape explained that the tone meant I had tapped in to a deeper level of concentration and was the natural result of some automatic response. The recording said not to mention the sound to anybody because they didn't want to make them feel left out. I didn't believe a word of it.

That tape also introduced some new ideas about the media was making people sick. was skeptical of course, but I also had to admit that going to the class, cutting down TV and Internet time, had made me feel better than I had in years.

-

Receivers
Every few weeks I would get a new tape. My collection started to grow. I would listen to them on the bus. The tapes are pretty short so swapping them out became a ritual. It made me wish I still wore a chat rig, but I made do with my backpack. At work the guys would give me a hard about it. They would say "did you see the news? Magnetic tapes cause cancer. They are going to ban them..."

I had learned from the new tapes that people like us were called Receivers...

Amy and I started spending more time together again. She had her own tape deck and tapes, was way further along than I was. She had been spending time at the place the group owned called the "rec center". Something about her had changed. She was holding something back and I knew the answer was on her tapes.

-

Boombox
One night Amy and I were watching an old black and white movie at her place. We never watched or read anything from the last 50 years. About halfway in, she dozed off. I pretended to get up to use the restroom, snuck into the hall, and carefully lifted one of the advanced tapes from her purse. I grabbed my pack and ducked into the bathroom.

Inside my pack I had brought a double cassette boombox with high-speed dubbin. The tapes are usually pretty short, so it only took a few minutes to dub the first part of Side A to a blank tape.

I finished rewinding her tape and put my gear back in my pack. I slowly opened the door to find Amy standing right there in the gap, rolling her eyes.

-

Headphones
Before we went, Amy leveled with me; The Mindkill, the Threat, Mindtech... all of it. From the outside the Rec Center looked like any other mixed-use commercial building from the 80's, but inside it looked like a training camp.

I wasn't entirely ready to accept everything I had learned, but I also wasn't ready to give up this new life. Seeing people organized, training, moving as one -- that is something I knew from the infantry. I knew I could help.

The next day while waiting for the bus a person ran up to me and tore of my headphones, screaming at me. Apparently, according to social media, using a tape-player in public had become the secret symbol of an anti-handicapped hate group. I had to keep my tape player out of sight after that.

-

Free pistol
In the field, we learned that the most effective was to clear a room is to destroy the building. If you can't do that, then hose the room with a vehicle-mounted 50 cal. If you can't do that, then stack up outside at 3 AM with NVGs, forage the room, and of in fast to clean up.

But what if you're alone with a pistol and no other gear? We don't train for that. We would never get in that position. That's just a way to give your enemy a free pistol.

Or at least, that's what I told the folks at the Rec Center when they asked me about it. They didn't seem to like my answer.

-

Finding Amy
There is something ironic about how it's only in desperate situations that you really focus on what counts. Things were great with Amy. I was training my Mindtech at work and I was helping with firearm drills at the Rec Center on my off days. I had found purpose and meaning fighting the Threat. Those last few months before the Mindkill were some of the bests in my life.

Now that it's finally happened, I realized someone had to write an account of this war. This is the single most important event in human history, and if I wasn't writing it down nobody would.

P.S. Amy if you find these notes, I miss you

-

Safe
I can't believe this place. The timing of finding this! Just when I needed time to think I stumble into this cosmic pretzel of a place. How typically Mich of me!

It's good though. Now I can slowly go nuts trying to figure out the encrypted messages in the Dreaming, the doubts about other Receivers, the way it all really works. Great fun! Crippling doubts eating away at me just like it did when I was in training.

Who can I trust? Can I trust myself? Until I understand things better, I'm not going back out there. For now, I'm staying here, whatever this place is, and keeping safe.

-

Down in a hole
Not feeling so hot.

Been a long time since I learned anything new, since I actually reached new insights. That's not how this was supposed to work is it? Wasn't I supposed to develop new Mindtech? To get closer and closer to understanding the Mindkill? To get closer to help defeat the threat? Why is it so hard?

I better get my head straight.

-

Musical Statues
That statue ... How? Why?

It's fun to play with, sure, but I can't help but feel somewhat disturbed by such a thing even existing.

I mean, what's it even for? (Other than light relief)

-

Mind Flu
Been thinking ... So, what if my mind was infected with something the Threat had exposed me to, BEFORE the Mindkill happened? Some kind of low-level malady of the mind, bad enough to make me feel ill, but allowing me to function on a basic level? What if I wasn't aware of this, and I'd go out there and just by interacting with the dreaming I would spread some kind of mind-flu? Like a sleeper agent, who's unaware that he is such a thing?

Is that possible?

All very Phillip K. Dick

-

Who's zooming who?
Can't figure out if this place is a boon or a trap? Am I hiding from the threat, or is the threat hiding me from it?

How can I tell?

-

Explororama
OK, so there's a lot more to this place than I thought. Not just my little room inside the walls, but there are other surprises too.

There's an oblique quality to it all. You look at it one way and it seems normal. You peek from the corner of your eyes, and a whole new revelation pops out.

How deep does the rabbit hole go?

-

Code
This is odd. I found a Receiver note, but it makes no sense. It seems to be some kind of code.

5:1, 7:2, 15:3

Does it even mean anything?

-

Heli-pad
Why would there be a Heli-pad here? What possible purpose could it server? I get the shooting range, the challenge dome (That's what I call it), the Japanese garden, the damn yoga tower ... But a Heli-pad?

-

Code II
2:3, 7:3, 14:1

-

Gremlins
I know gremlins aren't real, but something or somebody is moving my stuff around. Perhaps it's just how this place works, or perhaps it's the Threat trying to mess with me, again, or perhaps it's other Receivers.

I know they're around, even if I can't seem em. (Yes, I know how that sounds)

Or am I finally cracking up here?

-

The Head sees all
Is it me or is this giant watching me? I know it's impossible, but every time I look away its eyes seem to focus on me. I can sense it more than see it, just there in the corner of my eye ...

Should I be "amused" or worried?

-

Question
I'm struggling to keep my head straight. There's just too much weirdness around here, and I feel I can't even trust myself right now.

To make things even worse, I just realized that every diary entry I write ends in a question.

Surely that can't be healthy?

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Code III
1:2, 2:2, 10:2, 11:3

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Negative Feedback Loop
I think I'm in trouble. Same thoughts keep looping in my head over and over:

''"There is nothing out there." "There is nothing in here." "It all means nothing at all."''

I know it's the Threat doing this, or maybe it's me getting mad, or maybe that's the same thing. Either way, I gotta find a way to make things matter again. To make ME matter again.

But how?

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Disappearing
I think I'm disappearing. Soon I won't be here at all.

First the world was there, big and loud and annoying but there. Then the Mindkill happened and reality had shrunk to something much less ... well, real, with little to do but try and survive the Killdrones and maybe become more enlightened.

And now, now I'm just here, invisible, like a rat stuck in the walls of a dream. A place that is just a few rooms and spaces, with not much to do at all.

What's next?

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Small
I can't shake this feeling that everything is gone, even the shooting range, the other rooms .. it's just me now, the other stuff was never really there to begin with.

This room I've been living in for months is not here either. It's an illusion. It's a manifestation of my mind, my psyche. I am literally living inside my own head.

There's nothing out there but a void.

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Giant Head
The giant head speaks to me without words.

What does it say?

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RESET
The weirdest thing happened. I found a note in my room, with another code, like the ones I found before, but this time my mind kept gnawing at it, trying to figure out what it says, and you know what? I think I know what it's for ...

I'm heading over to the Giant Head to try something ...

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Waking up
I was right. The Code worked. And it proves that I'm not alone, not really. There is a world out there, there are others fighting the Threat.

I receiver this gift: 8:3, 9:2, 13:1

It's funny really, stupid even, but it made me feel real again, and I don't even like disco.

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Challenges
And now there are these notes with "Alexified" challenges. I think they're made for everybody, and they were made by the same person who left that code.

That hacking challenge was tough, but did it, and it led me to a cool area in the attic. And guess what I found there? A hoop! Now I can finally practice with those balls.

I'm going to try what other challenges I can find.

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Breakthrough
I did it. I broke through. I went out there again in the Dreaming and my skills were as sharp as they'd ever been. Shooting practice paid off sure, and those challenges too, but mostly it's because my head was back in the game.

Recovery can happen in the strangest places.

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Receiver Mall
Can you believe it? I found the RECEIVERS MALL! It's even got its own muzak channel! It's a weird place. There's a jumble of stuff I remember from that Receiver Compound like the gun range and those challenges, but also weird things like that giant interactive head in the lobby. (What is that thing?)

Anyway, it's mighty convenient, good place to practice. Also, I could never resist getting all high scores to say "Alex". Sad but true.

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Happy
It's funny what makes me happy these days. It used to be pranking (yeah I know) Derrick at Mergers and Acquisitions. These days it's improving my high score on the drone challenge in the Dome.

Damn, Derrick ... What a douche he was.

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Pocket Universe
This place, this is quite a find. It's almost too good to be true. A little pocket universe offering safety and the chance to keep improving some of our Receiver skills ... nobody talked about this in training, so I guess it's a new thing. Or at least an unknown thing.

The big question is, who (or what) manifested this?

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Head-funk
I cracked it! I know how to make the Giant Head sing!

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Temptation
I learned a few things about temptation these last few days/weeks. I mean, it's actually fun to be here and explore and try to get into all those locked rooms. It's also really fun to practice my shooting skills without fear of death

But then I realized, those are not the real temptations. The real temptation, the real voice of the Threat, is the one that tells me to spend less and less time in the Dreaming. (At least the bit where I get to fight the Threat)

The temptation is that voice telling me that I should practice just a bit more before going out there again. Have just one more go at honing my skill, because what use am I if I'm not progressing?

Right?

Right ...

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Tech Stock
Been thinking that I could use some fresh shooting challenges, and decided to tinker a bit, and upgrade the shooting programs. I reckon if I add some new programs, and stay here for a while, my Mindtech is strong enough to manifest them permanently.

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Tech Stock II
Cool! That totally worked! I'm on a roll. Next, I'm beefing up the Giant Head.

Gonna add some fun stuff and surprised to it. Alexify!

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Board Room
Found the boardroom today. There was a key card right on the big table. Nice!

I felt so nostalgic about my old foreign accounts that I stood there and rattled of a whole "promising investments" presentation, like I was standing in front of the directors. Still remembered the numbers and data and currencies and portfolio names and all that. I actually used to think financial spreadsheets were fun.

Something I is clearly wrong with me because I kinda miss it.

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Jam 1
Started writing down the best Jams.

4:2, 5:3, 10:1, 11:2

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Spooky Assets
This place is pretty spooky. I just found a completely hidden room via some vents and grates. I can peek inside, and I swear it's some kind of stowaway living space.

It's empty, but every time I wake up and look at it, I see something inside has changed. An object has moved ... a lot has appeared ... supplies have been added ...

It's giving me the creeps.

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Spooky Assets II
What the actual fudge?

My Trophy Room (that's what I call it) has been messed with. New stuff has appeared, other stuff has been moved around. I mean, this is beyond the normal weirdery that happens in post-Mindkill environments.

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Jam 2
2:1, 3:3, 4:2, 8:1

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New Portfolio
Ah I get it now. Stuff I find in the Dreaming that I've taken a shine to sometimes carries over into this place, just like the Dreaming itself carried over from life before the Mindkill.

That's actually pretty cool. I'm gonna try and see if I can game that particular bit of weirdery, and build myself a little portfolio of cool trophies.

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Investment Payoff
It's working. The gun range, the challenges ... I'm getting better in here which is making me better out there, which is making me better in here.

Positive feedback loop baby!

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Ohmmmmm - Future Prospects
Ohhhh I got into the Rock Garden. It's really pretty and it has a view to die for. It also gives a view on more places to discover, if only I can figure out how to get there ...

It's the coolest thing, some kind of mediation platform? I wonder if I can get on its roof. The view must be amazing ...

Now that would be a worthy time investment.

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Jam 3
4:2, 5:3, 9:1

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Invoice Due
I get it now. I finally grokked the true purpose of the Mall. Yes, this place is great for gun training, but really, it's smarter than that. It's for Receivers who are stuck in a groove, who need a safe place to recover and get back in the game.

I think all the little mysteries and secrets and puzzles in this place teach you new Mindtech in their own weird way. You know, like brain training ... Like hiding a dog's treats to keep the pooch's mind's engaged, or like how puzzles for old folks to stop them from getting dementia.

And it works, I feel sharper than I have in ages.

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Repayment Plan
Time to give something back:

I'm going to unlock every little secret this place has to offer, and provide proof. I'M laying down the gauntlet for other Receivers. If I can do it, you can too. I'll even drop a hint or two, and some Alexified challenges of my own.

Come on fellow Receivers, show me you still got it!

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Alexified Challenge 1
Only on the furthest ledge you will find this reward.

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Alexified Challenge 2
To find real enlightenment and a pretty view mediate on the roof of the mediation platform.

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Alexified Challenge 3
The Aircon Unit hides a surprise!

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Alexified Challenge 4
Hack the door! Shoot the Hoop!

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Alexified Challenge 5
Crack this code to receive a reward:

6:1, 8:2, 9:3, 13:3, 15:1

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FinalJam
This one's special ;-)

6:1, 10:3, 12:3, 15:2

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Librarian 1 - Vortex
Still much to learn about Dreaming/Threat metaphysics. Am convinced there are rules to all this. Up to me to figure out, I guess.

Clue 1: Found an area which acts like a vortex of communal thought. Receiver minds sharing the same space in a discreet quantum reality. Mind transmissions manifesting as messages. Notes, floppies, photos ... fascinating!

Q, the Librarian

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Librarian 2 - Study Project
Not sure how much good I'm doing in the Dreaming. Going to stay here and study Receiver communications for a spell. Maybe some useful knowledge will come of it.

Q, the Librarian

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Librarian 3 - Substrate
Is the Dreaming a substrate for human memory? Are Receiver a backup feature of human consciousness? Is a reboot possible? Will collect more data

Q, the Librarian

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Librarian 4 - Shadows in a cave
We can't meet other Receivers, but can send messages? Can we really tell what's real? Seems to me we're just shadows on the wall of Plato's cave. But who tends the fire?

Reality A is where we meet, one day, but for now we struggle in the dreaming.

Still, I'll continue to catalogue and learn.

Q, the Librarian

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Librarian 5 - How many?
Messages and missives found so far:

- Maggie, Mitch, Charlene, Derrick, Henry, Alex, Micha, Luis.

- Also, tapes, floppies, notes.

Seems there should be more. What am I missing?

Q, the Librarian

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Librarian 6 - Beachhead?
Whatever metaphysical implications, this place, this gun range complex, seems safe from direct Threat Attacks. Can find no Receiver comms contradicting that. Maybe this is a beachhead? A place from which to step up our attack on the Threat?

If so, have to let all Receiver know.

Q, the Librarian

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Henry - They won't win
Evfs Impxvtf. Ssjl fwwlykj, mbxi uvrsl, ubxv lvkw, fc rcnjg.

Zyif zmel W thcaj r cbstdlhseg akn cbjl:

xvif:hvr, zyiezwu:hkh, nbaitrkr:lofsx

Jhz khre agu'h uxb ncry joxz ph!

Vxvee

Decrypted:

More secrets. More riddles, more codes, more lies, more doubts. This time I found a completely new code:

four:one, thirteen:two, fourteen:three

But they won’t get away with it!

Henry

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Charlene - CronenHead
Oh this is hilarious ...

You know that Cronenberg flick Scanners? Been thinking a lot about it recently. Not sure why, but I reckoned that if Scanners can blow other Scanners' heads into itty bitty brainy pieces, maybe I could develop some new mind tech to blow up drones and turrets WITH MY MIND.

Next thing, I had a dream about my old Receiver Compound, and I stumble upon a whole new corner of the Dreaming. And right in the middle of it is a GIANT HEAD! With its brain exposed!

Well, kind of ...

Charlene

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Derrick - Dear Otto
Dear Otto,

Why oh why did management team me up with Monsieur "alexify" Alex? He has no interest in mergers and acquisitions and can barely put a spreadsheet together. Mon Dieu! Puorqoui moi? (why me?)

All that Canard is interested in is tinkering in the margins, Obscure musical codes? Gun technology? Seriously?

C'est terrible. (It's terible) But also, c'est la vie.

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The Mongoose Strikes
Alright mofos, you got me. I ain't never gonna make it to elite Receiver ranks am I? Guess I knew this all along. Never did get that whole mind-tech thing, not really. I mean sure, I got me some zen chops when I need em, and a certain "stoic prowess" as some of my buddies used to say it. But much of that's my stunt training. It got me this far (at least I didn't get mind-killed), but now I'm stuck. Truth bites, but what can you do?

So, what's a gal supposed to do?

Well, I ain’t a metaphysical genius, that's been established, but that don't mean I can't provide other Receivers with useful intel, right? I figure since I'm pretty good at taking hint and rolling with the punches, and since it seems I can't really die here, I should be true to my nature and treat this place (what some of y'all call "The Dreaming"*) like an opportunity to test myself and help others.

Here's the deal: I'll try anything too dangerous for other Receiver to do. I'll be that dumbass that gets in all the stupid places, tries all the dumbest shit, gets killed over and over again, but hopefully learns a few tricks in the process. And because I'm all generous and shit I'll record that stuff and share it with y'all

The Mongoose** Strikes!

* That name's too fancy-pants for me

** The name is Maggie

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Crazy Drop One
Ok then, like I promised, here's Maggie Mongoose with crazy tip numero uno! This one took a bit of daring I can tell ya, but just right for my skillset. Gotta have a truckload of courage for it, but it can give you options when you need em.

Anyway, enough dilly dallying. You know that crazy hospital section, the one with the creepy beds or gurneys or whatever they are? Well, if you find a good spot you can drop down to the level below! If you twist in the air just right you can land on the railing. I mean, it hurst like hell, and your ankles won't thank you, but it's an alternative route that can get you out of a jam, or put you next to a tape.

Man I hope somebody reads these ...

Mongoose.

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Contact
Dear Maggie (Mongoose),

I am pleased to tell you that yes, somebody reads your missives. Gratefully I can assure you! You see, I suffer from the opposite problem from what you described in your first message " The Mongooes Strikes". That is to say, I am rather adept at acing on the more metaphysical and esoteric elements of Receiver lore, but have always struggled with the physical side of our training. So, it's quite a relief to find that there's help out there from someone with a penchant for daring actions and feats of valour.

I tried your "Crazy Drop" method, and you were right: It worked, and my ankles did indeed decline to thank me. It earned me another tape though.

Perhaps I should repay the favor and share some of the insights I have gained, especially those in areas where you seem to suffer.

With kind regards,

Mitch

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Contact Back Atcha
Hey there Mitch. (I like that name)

Glad that my Mongoose broadcast reached you loud and clear. Seems my crazy plan works! Let's keep this thing going.

Mongoose.

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Focus
Dear Maggie,

Allow me to make a philosophical point -- not quite as spectacular as your Mongoose transcripts, but useful nonetheless. To progress, to ascended, to learn, we must collect tapes. This is self-evident. But, to achieve this goal, we have to maintain focus.

Do we have to disable every turret? Do we have to down any drone? Take care of every ceiling turret? Not at all! Frequently our enemies are nothing more than distractors. If we can avoid them, yet progress deeper into the Dreaming, then that is almost always the preferred option. (Unless they stand between you and a new tape. But even then, there will be other tapes.)

Keep focus, ignore everything that doesn't get us closer to our goal.

Mitch

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Peekaboo
This one was kinda fun, and also kinda awful. Took me plenty hits to discover this (ouch), but it's a good un. OK get this: Turrets can run out of ammo. Yep, no idea why, but there it is. Thing to do is to play peekaboo with em.

Goes like this: Poke yer head out, get shot at, hide, till the damn things loses its bead on ya. Rinse, lather, repeat (what the hell does that even mean) and eventually the sucker runs dry. I mean, it'll look all angry and fierce, but you can tell it's empty because its light gets red when it's out of ammo.

Mongoose.

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Crazy Drop Two
Ignore the hospital ground floor. It just ain't worth it.



Maggie

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Mitch Shaped Crater
My dearest Maggie,

Your impressive feats of valour and general "can do attitude" (I truly dislike that turn of phrase) are rubbing off on me. It is certainly making me a better Receiver.

Case in point: Through observation and experimentation I have learned that the arcade area offers an opportunity for one of your patented crazy drops! As you probably know, you can look into the arcade from the roof above, through the skylights. Well, there's a handy and sturdy vent below one of the windows. One can safely drop down to it, and from there it's not too hard to reach the arcade's top level.

It took me a few tries but I'd say the method is sound.

Also, I must say, I felt some excitement when I successfully applied your methodology. One could even say I felt flustered. ;-)

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Hoovering
Hey there feller. What's shakin'?

Thanks for the arcade tip. And yeah, nuttin' like a bit of danger to get juices going, it ain't wrong if it feels good, right?

Funny you feelin' flustered. Must admit I feel a mite flustered myself. Been a while since I actually communicated with a real livin' soul like yerself.

Here's a quick tip: Drones can be hacked! I know I know, when can you ever get close enough to those suckers to hack em? Well, if you plan an escape route with lots of corners and quick turns, let yerself get spotted, then run and hide. Chances are the dumb thing will end up hovering* somewhere where ya can easily get to em.

Try it! It's fun!

Maggie*Nearly wrote "Hoovering". Now that's something I'd pay to see ;-)

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Time
Hey Maggie. How's the mongoose?

I was going to write a piece about the irony of time in the dreaming. The notion that we always feel a tendency to rush, to ascend as quick as we can, to dispatch our enemies with great haste! But ironically, we have all the time in the world. Time doesn't really mean anything here, so why rush? Isn't it better to live and act as deliberate as we can, to take our time finding tapes, or avoiding our enemies?

While it's all true, and my best runs have been those where I have taken my time to succeed, a thought hit me .. I wasn't going to say this as I don't wish to add pressure or sadness to our communication process, but I must admit that I'm suffering in solitude. I always have, but now ... I'm not sure if I will ever feel the touch of a person again. And I'm not sure I can live with that. So maybe I AM in a rush to get out of here

Mitch

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Race Ya
Well Mitch, you got me there. I've always been a here-and-now kinda gal, but the here and now is kinda gettin' to me. (SWIDT?)

For the longest time I figgered it ain't no use to fret. I'm stuck here, like I said. But your notes are helping me. My runs are gettin' better. I feel like you're giving me something that was missing, and I don't just mean the smarts to climb the ranks and fight the Threat.

So, how's this, we keep helping each other, and make it a race. First to escape this damn place is duty bound to find the other.

Besides, I'm gettin' really curious to see what you look under all dem fancy words.

(Flustered) Mongoose.

P.S. You can shoot the lights! (Can make it easier to see the blue ray of death.)-

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